I haven't written for a while. Things have been really busy but today I just feel the NEED to write. Only 7 and a 1/2 weeks until I go into the MTC. I am so excited but I still have that constant nagging feeling like something will happen and I won't go. But I keep pushing that feeling down and back and getting ready as much as I can. Everyone around me is so supportive. It is wonderful.
Last week I was able to go to Manti with my grandparents and sister. It was so relaxing! I loved relaxing, reading, and swimming. It was nice not to have to worry about anything at all. One thing that kept coming into my mind while I was on my vacation was how am I going to change on my mission? One thing I really hope for is to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I feel like I already know Him but not near as much as I would like to. Another thing is, I hope I learn how to really get to know people. Most of the time I feel like my relationships are only superficial. Right now I can only think of a few people that I really know and can count on.
The reason why I called this post "Feeling for the Future" is I want to change in the way that I feel about my future. I am always worrying about what is coming next. I always come up with dumb scenarios which probably really would be bizzarre to anyone else. Like my mission worrying. I know I'm going and yet I keep worrying. So I am going to find balance with my feelings in the future.
ummm i didn't even know you were going on a mission! where are you going?! so exciting!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to Guatemala City! I leave in October. I am very excited (:
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, for the most part, these feelings are normal and part of life. I remember getting those feelings about marriage, school, and even things as obvious in results as having a baby (wondering, "am I really having a baby?" with my belly poking 2 feet out!). Even moving from one house to the next... But, trust that the Lord has control over all things & knows you better than anyone. If you trust in Him, do your best to be faithful while listening to the spirit and be obedient to any promptings/warnings, He will direct your path for good...I think you'll be a great missionary where ever you are!! ; ) Love ya.
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