Satire #2: Healthy in 31.5 days with Cocllo™

Dr. Susan Kale Collards

Presentation notes and slides for east coast tour

Healthy in 31.5 days with Cocllo™

**Put up the slideshow and have “Good Vibrations” by the Beach Boys gently playing in the background as people are getting seated**

I just want to welcome all of you here. Are any of you feeling extremely exhausted and not quite there? Depressed maybe? I’m sure many of you are and if I am right, and I believe I am, you are all in the right place. If you listen and apply what we talk about today you will feel and LOOK better in a matter of only 31.5 days. That’s right, I heard some of you gasp, but it is the truth.

How the Cocllo™ came to be

There is a very interesting story behind the creation of the Cocllo™

·         Twenty years ago I was tired all the time. I was fat and had no drive to do anything. **Show pictures** Then one day I realized I needed to change something.

·         I went to my kitchen and there wasn’t much in the fridge since I never felt like going shopping. There was a coconut on the counter so I grabbed that. Then I went to the pantry and saw a package of strawberry gelatin.

·         Like I said, I felt tired and had no drive to do much, so I decided to just make something out of these two items.

·         Since I was so tired I didn’t quite read the gelatin instructions very carefully and replaced the water with vinegar. Since I had already decided to use the coconut but didn’t feel like looking for a knife and cutting it open I simply pulled off some of the hairs on the outside and brushed them into the boiling vinegar on the stove.

·         I knew I needed a pan to cool the gelatin in so I grabbed the closest thing to me that happened to be a mini muffin tin.

·         As I poured the gelatin mixture into the tin I didn’t realize the life changing recipe I had just created.

The results of the new recipe

When I first tried the now called Cocllo™

·         Several hours after the Gelatin had finally congealed I took a spoon out and ate one portion. It had an amazing texture. I had another portion. It tasted like something I had freshly pulled out of the garden in my back yard.

·         About twenty minutes later I felt like going on a run! I hadn’t felt like even rolling out of bed but within only 20 minutes I had the urge to go do EXERCISE!

·         As I ran I listened to the beach boys “Good Vibrations”. I realized that would be me new theme song. I had finally found those good vibrations that I needed and that everyone needs.

·         When I returned home from my run my fibula was not hurting as much as it used to after strenuous movements.

·         My doctor was so amazed that my fibula went from near to a fracture to solid as a bone can be. Incredible he told me. Actually, I believe his word was “Inconceivable”. That’s right.

**Post photos of my marathon and where I am wearing my custom pink t-shirt that says “My fibula doesn’t hurt, does yours?” on the front and “The Cocllo™ miracle” on the back**

·         The next 30 days were a time of life changing happenings for me. I went shopping (and bought more gelatin and coconut of course), biking, dancing, I even started dating, and, as you can see, I completed a marathon. Oh, and did I mention that I lost 50 pounds? All in 31.5 days.

·         I made more and more batches of this amazing recipe that I had created and called it the Cocllo™. Try it and you will know it was more than just a simple gelatin recipe.

You will not be the only one to notice the benefits

People started asking me about it

·         All my friends started asking me “How are you looking so good?” and “what have you been doing?” They were amazed by my change in physique and personality. I knew it was all because of the Cocllos™ that my changes for the better had happened so quickly. 

·         I started to share them with my friends. One of the first was Meg. I think you might recognize her.

**Start Video of Meg Ryan’s testimonial**

“When Susan told me about her Cocllos I was so excited. Many of you might have seen my performance in “You’ve Got Mail”. There is a scene in that movie where I am very ill, depressed, and not very nice. I actually really felt that way while filming that video. I didn’t know what to do. But thanks to just 3 Cocllos™ per day I felt better and ready to finish the film within minutes of taking the first one. I am still taking them daily and I feel great! Thank you Susan. The Cocllo is a miracle.”

-Meg Ryan –Actress and Co-Founder of Healthy in 31.5 Days

·         That’s right everyone. My dear friend Meg Ryan takes Cocllos™. And who doesn’t want to look like her? I mean she got Tom Hanks at the end of “You’ve Got Mail”. She is also the cofounder of “Healthy in 31.5 Days with Cocllo™” a now worldwide company. Her annual income from selling Cocllos™ is higher than her income from her career in acting. 500,000 dollars a month! Can I say that again? Okay. 500,000 dollars a month people. Incredible.

Scientifically proven

·         When I first decided to market the Cocllos™ I was unsure how people would react to such a simple fix for a plethora of health problems. So I decided to take a batch to IHC, The Intermountain Health Care center.

·         They took the batch to their Gelatin Additive Clinic where they ran tests. They found that the Cocllos™ were full of antioxidants, Vitamins A, C, and Z (really hard to come by), Folic acid, Chlorophyll, and other chemicals that still seem to be secrets of the universe. Their report to me was “These are out of this world.”

·         Now all of the members in the Gelatin Additives team at IHC are takers and marketers of Cocllos™ and they tell me that they couldn’t feel better.

You can be a part of the team too

Are you ready to be a part of this? Well, all you have to do is a few simple steps.

1.      Fill out the 6 page application.

a.       It is a straightforward application. We will have someone from our team there to help you out.

b.      Bring your own pen.

c.       Have your debit/credit card, birth certificate, driver’s license, and proof of address at hand.

d.      Be thinking of 10 people that need the 31.5 day plan and have their names and phone numbers ready.

2.      Earn MONEY!!!!!!!!

a.       You will be assigned to one of our fantabulous sales personages.

b.      They will call you every other day to make sure you are taking that Cocllos™ and getting the results you wanted. They will also be making sure that you are doing your best to spread the word.

c.        All your neighbors will need some and their dogs could definitely use some too so don’t worry about suggesting some Cocllos™ for them as well.

**If there is time, tell story about Orange, the goldfish who grew to be 5lbs. after his owners put Cocllos™ in his fish bowl**

3.      Get FIT AND FEEL GREAT!!

a.       Buy a 32 day package of Cocllos™ and the plan to go with it for only $559.99 on your way out today. You will be glad you did.

b.      If you don’t like it, or don’t see the results you were hoping for we will give you another 32 package of Cocllos™ and a t-shirt FREE OF CHARGE!

For any questions or concerns call: 1-800-315-DAYS or 1-800-315-3297.

Or visit our website: healthyin31.5days.com